A Marriott whore no more

I've slept with you over 500 times in my life. That's a lot of nights in your beds. Yes, I've strayed a few times, had that fling in New York with Kimpton. No marriage is perfect, right?

Still, I was in it for the long term. I was committed to you. Until I finally realized you're not committed to me. At least, not anymore.

So maybe this is goodbye, Marriott.

I never wanted it to end. Remember when I broke up with Westin all those years ago and rushed to sign up for your Rewards program? So many points. So many hotel options. I thought I had finally found my home away from home with Marriott.

OK, your rooms were no match for Westin. Like most sportswriters, I was more interested in points, stay totals and silver, gold and platinum status. In my business, those Rewards levels are seen as a measure of achievement more than a pathetic sign of how much of our lives we have given away to work.

Then things began to change.
The rates ticked up above what my companies would pay and I was
forced to downgrade to a Courtyard Marriott on most of my trips. If Marriott is a step down from Westin, Courtyard is a staircase leap.

Still, I stayed loyal for the points and for a rather simple reason: I liked your morning buffet. It wasn't the full-service spread you offered at Marriott, but it worked for me. All I needed was a little oatmeal, fresh berries, a biscuit, orange juice and coffee. Not too much to ask, right?

Then you eliminated the morning buffet and replaced it with something you call a la carte service, which I call instantly-jacking-up-the-cost-of-my-breakfast-while-simultaneously-offering-me-less-for-my-money service. Oh, and forget the fresh berries. Half the time you don't even have them.

And when did you stop knowing how to make oatmeal? At the Lake Mary, Fla., Courtyard last month, it was served 20 minutes late and half-cooked. Then at that run-down Courtyard Crabtree Valley in Raleigh, N.C., last week, you offered a thick clump of goo that tasted like it was cooked months ago and microwaved back to a half-life of inedible, cardboard mush.

You know you're in trouble when you can't even get oatmeal right.

At least you still had that lobby coffee that I could refill as I worked in your room, a palatable option for those of us who think Starbucks is plain vile. But then you took that away, too. I was told I had to buy Starbucks only at the a la carte place or use the in-room coffee maker, the one with some mysterious liquid in the bottom that should have dried long ago if it just was plain water.

You know what I realized after those two trips? I couldn't remember the last time I actually enjoyed staying at one of your Marriotts. When the beds felt luxurious and the bathrooms didn't look like they were last remodeled in the 1980s. When staying with you made my business day go smooth and easy.

So I read recently that you're upping the points needed to get free night stays at many Marriott properties. And I have to ask: How many more good reasons are you going to give me to ditch you once and for all?

Yes, I'll say it: I was a Marriott whore. But now you feel as cheap as the worn-out towels in your Courtyard bathrooms, and I feel used. Your points are just not worth it to me anymore. I don't even want to stay in your hotels, even when it's free.

I'm not saying I'm done with you, Marriott. Never say never. But as of today, I'm sleeping around.

Hey Starwood, how's your oatmeal?